Cat I say, then cat I shall display (Don't worry, I am not about to go Dr. Seuss on you unfortunately)...
There you see a very cool cat. No nerves in this one, his name is Zinger by the way. Ryan was late to the dinner table so Zinger kept his seat warm. Well that was Zinger's story anyhow. Truth be told he was hoping to get at the Turkey under the foil to his right. Poor Zinger, he was denied that which he wanted. At least let us give Zinger credit for knowing what he wanted.
To be denied is one thing, to be in denial, quite another. Denial is a dangerous response for us humans. I really have no idea how it affects a cat.
Perhaps an easy correlation is that of an alcoholic or drug user who does not believe they have a problem; to them their abuse has no ill affects on their lives, or those around them, and they can quit at any moment. For whatever reason they do not accept the reality of their problem, they deny there is a problem.
To say that all of us who are obese, or over-weight, use whatever word you desire; to say all are in a state of denial is probably wrong. Certainly there must be a few who know they are obese, and are truly OK with it, or, they sincerely do not care. But, minus those few, is it safe to say that a majority of us who are obese either are or have been in denial at some point?
I am not a doctor of any sort, I have played one; well lets not go there... my words are my opinion based on the myriad of good sense and nonsense that has accumulated in my mind. So take that info in as an introduction to think...
Are you now, or have you have you ever been in denial about your weight?
Myself, oh my goodness gracious most certainly you betcha dog gone right yes siree bob - YES I have. For you net-lingo addicts that would be: OMGGMCYBDGRYSB
Have, HAVE; is the word of importance there. For today I do not consider myself to be in denial. But not too long ago, and for a long long time; I most definitely was.
Being obese was not causing me to be unhappy, I was pleasantly plump and happy, right? I denied that I would be happier if I could do the things I could not do; e.g. sit on the floor & play games with the kids, go on a canoe ride, play full or even half-court basketball.
Being obese did not impact my marriage in anyway, all was good, right? I was in denial that I could perform better sexually, or that we might enjoy it more, if I those blobs of fat weren't there with us.
Being obese did not mean I wasn't active, I moved more than enough, right? I denied that I needed to exercise beyond what I got walking from my chair to my car, from my car to work, from work to my car, from my car to my chair.
Being obese was not putting me at greater risk for health factors or a decreased lifespan, I was healthy fat or no fat, right? I denied that I really needed the high blood pressure pills when prescribed them, I figured it was just the doctor covering his butt against statistics. I denied that what I ate could lead to heart attack, stroke, or death. I was after all, me. Things like that don't happen to me; they happen to you.
For each of those, and the dozens I didn't list, I knowingly felt guilt yet I refused to feel any self-remorse thus choosing the easy path to eliminating the risk for my foolish decisions; I ignored my own guilt. Foolish, denial is just plain irresponsible & embarrassingly foolish. Acting a fool is what is truly dangerous.
So let me ask you again, are you acting a fool?
"We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it." -- Roald Dahl (author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; mmm chocolate)
Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!
Posts
Great post, I Know that I didn't see myself as the obese person everyone else, I always saw.......I was in complete denial.
ReplyDeleteWow! That was a really really well written, well thought out, and sometimes funny, very insightful post.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I've been there...as long as I didn't look in a mirror or see a picture of myself, I could deny how enormous I really was. I think that's why it was important for me to post pictures of me on my blog....I have to look at those and admit the truth....and now finally, I am doing something about it!
ReplyDeleteReality is important. VERY important. We have to start with being truthful with ourselves. That is where change begins. Awesome post.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note consider this about the "label" of obese; According to my BMI I am obese - level 1 of 3 but still obese. That is just laughable. I think to some degree we need to just look at ourselves in the mirror with just our underwear on and see if we like what we see. See if we would NOT be self-conscious at a water park. That is the bottom line for me.
For me, absolutely not. I was never, EVER in denial about my weight. I was acutely aware of how much I weighed, what I looked like. I was acutely aware of the effects my weight had on my health, happiness, and well-being. I was aware of how it impacted my relationship with others. And I worked and worked and worked and worked to get the weight off, but nothing helped. That utter helplessness most definitely contributed to continued weight gain. It was a never-ending cycle. But never once was I in denial about my weight.
ReplyDeleteIf anything, I'm in denial TODAY about my weight: "Can I really be this thin? Nooo...surely not! I must look fatter than I feel!" etc etc.
Great post.
ReplyDeleteI think there is the flip side to it, and it's those of us who have always been obsessed. I'm going to suggest that the complete denial is probably more common in men and the complete obsession more common in women. (On average, obviously there are more exceptions.)
I know I started "dieting" at the age of 11 and never stopped. I ALWAYS thought I was fat, even when I wasn't. So, when I actually did become obese, I knew it. I truly did.
For me, the key was in finding balance. I work in extremes. To ignore it doesn't work, but to obsess, without being productive, did me no good either.
I was in denial about the first 10 lbs gained. And the next 10. But when it got to 30 and headed upward, I woke up one day and reality hit me like a brick wall. The high b/p and cholesterol helped, too.
ReplyDeleteDenial no more.
Another great post! Like others, I would point out that there are those that know they're obese from the get-go and do whatever they can to change it, albeit unsuccessfully. My hubby was sent to fat camp at age 11 - hard to be in denial there. For me, I was in denial as it was happening. It was like, I woke up one day and was like "OMG! I'm fat!! How the hell did that happen?!?!"
ReplyDeleteTo answer your other question regarding how many people are around me? Too many. I work in a dreaded cubicle surrounded by many other drones who waste their lives day in, day out waiting for something good to happen to them. *sigh*
Have a good weekend Patrick!
Good post Patrick!!! Answer is yes, at times I've been in denial about my weight. It's tough dealing with both sides of the coin, denial and guilt. I think I've lived with both all my life in great amounts and really now I need to sluff off both and just live choice by choice in awareness. It's getting better but of course I have the rest of my life ahead of me.
ReplyDeleteThis was great Patrick. Yes, I was in denial for a long time. I was happy. I had a great career, great marriage, great kids. I didn't really even mind the way I looked, until special occasions. But, there was something missing. I didn't feel good. I had aches and pains for no reason. I was depressed a lot. I was in denial.
ReplyDeleteI think at times there was denial, certainly. But I wasn't so much in denial as I was simply ignoring ... which is probably a form of denial too, come to think of it. Great post!
ReplyDeleteIf the pants still fit you're still the same size right? .... maybe that's why I wore sweatpants my entire final semester.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness we've realized and are not having pants that are too big!
Interesting Dr. P :-)
ReplyDeleteDenial is one of the stronger defenses. Usually as a child it protects us, but maintained use in adulthood can be damaging to us. One of the more challenging things to overcome, that's for sure.
Great post, Patrick. Wow, I could hardly see Zinger at first. We have a cat that looks just the same. It's always nice having a cat around to help out with seat warming and all.
ReplyDeleteI didn't think I was in denial, but when I caught a glimpse of myself in a store window, etc., I would think "Who the hell is that?" So I must have been in some sort of denial. Yep, denial is dangerous.
Denial.. oh yes, I have been there!!! More in real life than fitness/health life. Not a good thing!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Patrick!!!
yes
ReplyDeleteoh, yeah...I've lived in denial for years. My biggest denial saying was that "I just don't have the discipline". And I didn't, until I did. Daily choices.
ReplyDeleteUnconscious incompetence is when you don't know your doing something wrong.
ReplyDeleteConscious incompetence is when you know your doing something wrong but continue to do it anyway.
As long as you changed when you became aware of your problems that is the main thing.