Day 336-338: Beast Is Back, Rd. 3

Back on March 1st I shared that I needed to have spots on my forehead and right eyebrow removed. Inspired by my brush with melanoma in situ (very very early start of melanoma) on my right face cheek last September I decided to exercise some precaution and have this forehead spot looked at & removed this month. You can see the spot in the picture above taken last fall; there I was modeling the yoga towel I won from Jody and as well you can see the bandage on my cheek from having that spot removed.

On March 3rd I had the forehead and right eyebrow procedure done; I also had the surgeon fix part of the scar on my cheek that didn't heal well due to an uncooperative hair follicle. Don't I look like a mess...

When they removed the spots they send them off for biopsy to rule in or out whether any cancer cells are present; standard procedure. At the end of last week I received those results...

All is good on the right eyebrow, just sun damage that caused that spot.

All is not good on the forehead spot, positive for melanoma.

Since then I have not been myself. To be honest I've been a mixed bag of pissed off, despondent and absent minded. I've always had this natural-ability to shelve or back-burner my own problems when it comes time to attend to lifes 'normal' activities. Thus when it was time this weekend to go to the gym with my wife, or take the boys to a movie, or go out to dinner with my in laws; I just parked the fog that is my mind and participated as if nothing was wrong, nothing to be concerned about was present.

I've also always had this natural-ability to be brutally-real with myself when I understand or recognize the gravity of what is before me. And I am so very anxious to exercise that ability. But the problem is I don't know the gravity as I sit here & type this a.m.... and I wont know for a couple of weeks yet.

This Thursday I go for a consultation with a surgical oncologist for a procedure that will determine (I hope) whether the melanoma has had sufficient time to settle into one or more lymph nodes or beyond. Thursday is a long way away.

Until I know the true gravity I will do my best to back-burner the anxiety & emotional baggage I've found myself uncharacteristically picking up. Until I know I'll do my best to focus on being healthy, on being there for all who depend on me, on bringing fun to each day. Until I know...


Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!

Day 290 - Anatomy Lessons Hurt

Strong, and Sore; Alert, and Anxious; this is how I am feeling coming into this new week. Nacho the cat you see there is not any of these things; he works out with me often and here you see him catching his breath between sets of leg-lifts.

Back to me; Strong in mind and body today, the exercise of late has had allot to do with this. I find success in exercise does more to boost confidence than success in eating. Do both successfully and we see both confidence and pride carry us to even greater success. 

Some soreness is with me from yesterday's workout. I focused allot on my back yesterday and I achieved that goal apparently as either my latissimus dorsi, infraspinatus, or both on both my sides are letting me know they had a 'great' time. Yes I had to look up the name of the infraspinatus muscle; getting an anatomy education as I get healthy here.

My alertness refers to my being very conscious at present that my expectations of myself are increasing. The last two months of 2010 I coasted to a very-very-very slow weight loss, almost could call it maintenance over some specific weeks. January 2011 ends today and it has been a good month. One where I picked up the pace a tick or tock but as I noted in yesterday's weigh in post while my pace of loss is slow and steady by design I am aware that it is slower than I'd like.

That is where the anxiousness comes in, I intend to kick it up a notch or skosh. To succeed I need to focus on more consistent eating, maintain my steam in exercise, and be certain to enjoy the ride. I know I can do just that, and I am anxious to see it through. A little anxiety is not a bad thing, it shows that the topic at hand has my attention.

Last week was a decent week and I believe in part due to my pre-planning last Monday. That helped me to set up myself for success. Now, in the end it was decent success, not great, because my execution was not as crisp as needed for greatness.

Building off that for this week we will again start with some pre-planning on this Monday. Here are my plans for the three balls I feel I must juggle weekly to have a great week...

Eat with passion! We have set up the menu for this weeks dinners. As well my breakfasts are ready to be had and lunches at the office cafeteria can & will be healthy. We've approached this weeks dinner menu with a passion for healthy foods that are also foods we love; a winning combo!

Are your meals for the week planned?

Exercise with purpose! This week will see me do as follows; WEIGHTS on Tuesday, Thursday, & Saturday. CARDIO on Monday, Friday & Sunday. Each weight session will be full body in general but have a specific area of focus as well. My purpose here is to learn more about what I get out of what I put into the exercise; I don't just want to do the exercise, I want to get to know it!

What is your exercise plan for the week?

Have fun with all I do! I am not fretting what the weather will be this week, or what deadlines loom at work, or what teenage drama will crop us at home; whatever comes my way I know I can not only handle it but have fun getting through it all. I am so done with dreading the realities of life. In nearly every pitch thrown at us fun can be had, that is if we have the proper definition of what fun really is. A topic worthy of more thought another day. 

Got fun in mind for this week?

 ENJOY!

 
Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!