Responsibility 199, what is it?

Responsibility 199 is a belief; I believe that to be healthy and to increase my longevity I need to weigh 199 pounds or less...
Responsibility 199 is a need; I need to reduce my weight, reduce my percentage of body fat, and the elevated threat of disease my present condition presents...
Responsibility 199 is a mission; I recognize that achieving 199 will be a challenge, perhaps the hardest I have ever undertaken...
Responsibility 199 is a commitment; I acknowledge that I must commit to action, commit to change, commit to myself and those I love to achieve this mission, to increase my longevity...
Responsibility 199 is ME.
Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Day 279 - Give Me Teased & Taunted Over Self-Pity & Guilty

Is anyone else here an admitted yo-yo dieter? I am raising my hand here, which is hard leaving me to type with one hand.

Even after 278 days into this latest mission, the longest I have ever been on to seriously drop allot of weight; even now I still feel I am still struggling to stay focused on doing what I ought to do day in and day out. Even when I try hard and use my happy-focused face (see picture), it isn't always easy.

It is the mind-game of it all that really is the struggle though. By now I would hope this would be so 2nd-nature and that my mind would have stopped entertaining desires for vats of ice cream wrapped in bacon smothered in cheese sauce with a side of buffalo wings. But my mind still does taunt me so. Perhaps it always will.

I suppose there is an alternative; I could just give in. Oh how easy that would be. My mind would be at ease. Or would it? Wouldn't it just begin to taunt me in reverse, heaping scoops and ladles full of guilt upon me for diving into that which will keep me obese until my unfortunate death at a young age? Oh I know my mind would do just a thing.

So, I guess it is a choice of which mind-game I want to play. The game of being teased & taunted to eat what I know I shouldn't. Or the game of being self-pity & guilty for eating what I know I shouldn't.

I am choosing to accept the fact that I will be teased & taunted, perhaps forever, while hoping with all my super-hero powers that they will abate over time. And if not, I know I am strong enough to survive their assault upon my mind. I have to be - it is that simple; I have to be stronger than my temptations.

Which choice have, or will, you make?



Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!