Responsibility 199, what is it?

Responsibility 199 is a belief; I believe that to be healthy and to increase my longevity I need to weigh 199 pounds or less...
Responsibility 199 is a need; I need to reduce my weight, reduce my percentage of body fat, and the elevated threat of disease my present condition presents...
Responsibility 199 is a mission; I recognize that achieving 199 will be a challenge, perhaps the hardest I have ever undertaken...
Responsibility 199 is a commitment; I acknowledge that I must commit to action, commit to change, commit to myself and those I love to achieve this mission, to increase my longevity...
Responsibility 199 is ME.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Day 236 - Potluck Calls Them Out

I can hear myself sloshing about from all the extra hydration I've been taking in as part of DecGTD. Trying to drink more in the morning and less in the evenings, but some days that doesn't work out. Yesterday was one such day. After 8:30 p.m. I chugged about 60 ounces of my 118 consumed. Really I am not sure if it matters when the water gets guzzled, does it? But I prefer not having to hit the out-house so often that late.

Moving on to food, doesn't that picture up there look tasty? Our division had a holiday potluck and there was food everywhere. Every over-indulgent concoction ever created found its way to tables through out the building. One easily could have consumed a 1,000 of calories with each sampling. What did I bring to the potluck, lean and lovely venison sausage of course...

Luckily for me, I had a busy schedule so opportunities to visit these treats were few. Plus I know better where as a year ago I would have lead the charge to conquer the feast. During a lull my final meeting of the day our conversation turned to all this food at work. Shout outs for the amazing chocolate-dream cake, whoots for those phenomenal rum balls, and even a fist-bump was had over the high fructose corn syrup laden fruit tart. Yes, it was a buffet of dieters excuses just waiting to be had by anyone needing justification to jump ship.

However what struck me and set me to pondering was how nearly everyone at this conference table was making fun of their weight, and most were heavy if not obese technically; and more so the complete lack of self respect they projected as they stuffed their faces. Now I know this was a holiday shindig, and I sound a bit bah-humbug'ish here, but my sense was these thoughts they let loose were more their norm than just momentary holiday deviations. This event just gave them comfort to share their norm publicly. Seriously, I was left in deep thought of; WTF!

After thinking about it for a while I realized what was really bothering me was this; did I sound this sad when I used to do the same? Oh I know I used to do the same, and I bet I was just as sad. Most obese folks do this I believe; push off the pain of our reality by making light of it in effort to validate it if only for the moment. You know, I am getting frustrated just writing this post and reliving that experience yesterday. So I hope you get what I mean here because I need to change topics. Please do share your thoughts but I must move on...

Another great day of eating yesterday which included all that water. No exercise however, so not so great there. I was out from 6:15 a.m. until 8:30 p.m. with work and family, yeah; just an excuse. I need to get up earlier to get in more exercise especially during these times of year when our evenings are as busy as they have been.

Final thought but most important thought of the day; HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

Have a great day one and all!

Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!


  1. I'm sure we all did it and some of us probably still do. I was saying something similar on someone else's blog about how I'm beginning to become rather judgmental in regards to how people eat...shoveling food into their mouths at lightning speed and then refilling their plates for me. It's really quite disgusting but I know for a fact that I was one of those people not so very long ago. Amazing what shedding a few pounds and attempting a healthier lifestyle will do for your perspective.

  2. I've heard overweight & obese people 'joking' about their weight & how much they eat lately too. It has made me very sad for them. I, too, have wondered if I masked my pain the same way. I think the answer is yes. Even though that makes me sad on the one hand, on the other I'm glad that I was able finally to break out of that. That denial, that self-loathing, that idea that I needed to make the joke before someone else made it real...OK now I'm getting sad again, so I'm stopping too.

  3. I'm glad I won't be exposed to any such feasts. We did the whole Thanksgiving deal and I was able to be pretty good and close to plan but for Christmas, we aren't doing a feast. Just a normal meal and hopefully, a quiet day at home.

  4. I notice no one shares high-fives over the fabulous salad with the fat free dressing (on the side) ...

    I'm doing something a little differently this year.

    We're having the usual open house holiday buffet stuff, but I'm also doing a table of healthy holiday food.

    It will be interesting to see how the two compare. One has all the buttery goodness of rich traditional foods, typical for the year. The other has good, but healthy, stuff. You know, artichoke cheese dip versus hummus ... let the battle begin! LOL

  5. This post hit home big time! My family celebrates everything with food- Christmas being the worst. I remember sitting around with my Mom and aunt over Christmas eve, all stuffing our faces, and making jokes about it. Idk if it was the comraderie, or laughing at ourselves so no one else could? The same thing happens in my office now, and it hurts to watch because its a reminder. Christmas eve this year is going to be drastically different for ALL OF US!

  6. I was never a great one for shovelling food in during social situations. I was ashamed of my obesity and could get quite snappy when people tried to foist crap at me, knowing of course that they knew that I wanted it really. I was always a secretive obese eater and would "save some for later" and then have an orgy of food indulgence once i was alone....sad, sad, sad...I do get what you mean though as i have been witness to the self-deprecating type many times.

  7. Happy bday to your mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The thing about these get togethers & parties is that people feel OK eating when everyone else is & it just feeds itself over & over. I know when I was younger & heavier, I liked being around my heavy friends more as we "shared in the love of food". And yes, the self depreciation sucks!

    OK, enough of that. Congrats on you doing your part to stay on track!

  8. I feel for you. The relationship I have with food now is unrecognizable compared to the relationship a year ago. Making light of my sadness was the only way I could get through a meal. Untill finally, it didn't work any more.

    Way to recognize it for what it was!

  9. The hard part for me has always been eating when alone. The office parties and spreads were always easy. I'd be one of the guys ripping on myself (more self-depricating, than mean), and move past the food. It was once the gathering had let loose that I'd fly though and clean up like a walking garbage disposal.

    No Mas though. Water is water as far as I've heard. It's all expelling nitrogen and bad stuff.

  10. This is my water schedule which helped me to say goodbye to my extra 27 pounds in 2 months.

    2 cups as soon as I wake up.
    1 cup of green tea or chicory during the 1st tea break.
    2 cups of water 40 min before lunch.
    1 cup of green tea or chicory during the second tea break.
    1 cup of water 40 min before snack.
    1 cup of water 40 min before dinner.
    No water for 1 hour after each meal and no water at all after dinner.

  11. The old me would have tried to be all 'disciplined' at an event like this....looking over the options for healthy stuff and picking at it so that I didn't embarass myself by being the Fat Chick stuffing my face....only to be hungry later and stopping for fast food somewhere on the way home. Ugh! This post hit close to home. Good one! ;)

  12. There seems to be food popping up at work every day now, hopefully I will be able to refrain from it all.... so far so good!

  13. Seconds on the Happy Birthday!

  14. I know it is because we have a five year old but respect is SUCH A KEY WORD around here right now.
    Respecting our bodies is so frequently forgotten too as we preach it and then dis ours with lack of sleep, too much crap (from food to wine :)) and various other ways as well.