Fruit Count: 221 - And we have reached 199 and beyond in 6 days. Thanks to everyone who helped in celebrating my 199 days of blogging. Special shout out to Lanie for the idea of a fruit challenge and as well to Mandy for being the lead fruit warrior here. Mandy ate "nine" pieces on Monday to help put this over the top. If I were to give out a trophy for the challenge it would look like that. Then again, after eating as much fruit as she has, Mandy may prefer to not receive such a trophy. This was fun, good stuff.
You were all too kind for not busting on me more for yesterday's fruit picture. When I took it, posted it and went on with my day I truly had no idea what I had done. But some of you were quick to notice my odd 'arrangement' of that fruit, including my wife who texted me asking what I was doing. Oh the jokes that could have come from that.
I have been tagged again, this time from How I Am Losing It. She asked some profound questions, needed to give these some thought. That now done, here are my answers to her questions:
1. What is/was your proudest moment?
The usual answers here are the birth of a child, or a wedding, etc... and those certainly are proud moments. But I shall answer with one that is more specific to a real turning point in my life.
Whats-his-name was on 2nd base, I forget his name yet I do remember not liking him very much. Even though he had run out a single into a double he name may as well have been Mud. Up to bat was yours truly, and I had to go to the bathroom; bad! On deck was the big kid who was hitting like .875, surely he would knock in Mud. Swinging at the first pitch, running to 1st and then to the bathroom was the plan.
That first pitch came inside right at my chest dropping hard to the dirt. Missed me by a whisker of which I had none. A quick check of my crotch, whew; I amazingly didn't wet myself. Looking back at the pitcher as I got up with a "WTH" stare, he waved in apology, fine; he was off the hook.
What wasn't fine was the schmuck whose name I forget on 2d base, he was laughing at me in a way that could not be ignored. Change of plans. Next pitch, it was getting knocked as close to him as I could get it. The next pitch was right down the middle, the pitcher being cautious not to dust me again.
I had to go to the bathroom so bad I couldn't swing at full speed and keep from wettin myself. Thus the bat vibrated worse that usual upon impact. Wow, the ball flew right at the Mud, sailing over his head by about a foot. It kept on sailing too, finally stopping when it smacked into the left-centerfield fence.
I stopped at 2d base folded over in pain, I had never had to go so bad in all of my 12 years. As I gingerly stood up I first saw the other teams pitcher walking off the field and then saw my entire team rushing out towards me. It was the bottom of the 7th (and final) inning. The game had been tied. The loser was done for the season. The winner moved on to a one-game playoff. We had just won the game. All I could do was stand there, get mobbed by my team, and pee my pants.
2. If you could pick any profession whatsoever, what would you be?
Race car driver. What can I say, I am a guy.
3. What's the best advice you never took?
Never take time off from school once you start. It took me 19 years to complete my bachelors.
4. If you could have one do-over in life, what would it be?
I'd have taken a full swing and knocked that picth it over the fence. Never leave anything on the table no matter how bad you have to go to the bathroom.
I will come up with 4 names and questions to tag back tomorrow.
Gotta run - have a great day!
Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!
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It takes a real man to choose peeing his pants in public as his proudest moment! I love the fruit trophy! She'll love it!
ReplyDeleteThat fruit pic.. how did I miss that! :-)
ReplyDeleteI am so boring compared to you! I love your stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You tell a great story. Really good.
ReplyDeleteI was on the edge of my seat through that story and almost peed my pants when I got to the end. Fantastic! LOL!
ReplyDeleteToo funny about peeing your pants, I have had a few of those moments and I wasn't still 12 lol. Glad you made the fruit challenge and so quickly too. Now see I thought yesterdays picture looked like 2 eyes and a nose :)
ReplyDeleteI love TODAY'S fruit man picture, Patrick.
ReplyDeleteYesterday's "partial fruit man" was funny - I thought it was a big (rather obvious) hint for the Mrs., on your chosen activity for yesterday. LOL
Great pre-teen story too. You saved the season, and still managed to put the exclamation mark on it, in the memories of all your team mates - or at least the coach. Somewhere, possibly in an assisted living center, is an elderly guy talking about the time Little Patty wet himself, but sent the team to the playoffs ...
Well done!
I noticed it Sir... and so did a couple of your followers. I just thought it was too easy to make a joke about. AND I am accused of making things sexual when they are not but you really got the ball rolling on that one...
ReplyDelete