Day 34 - Laugh

Friday is here. Did you hear me; FRIDAY IS HERE!!!

Time for another visit to the lighter side of things. I saw this yesterday and thought it worthy of sharing here. Hope you enjoy…

Ten New Diets by Judy Pokras

You've tried Dr. Stillman's Quick Weight Loss Diet, the Sardine Diet, the Grapefruit Diet, and more, but you're still lugging those extra pounds around. What's a food lover to do? Good news! Ten new diets have just arrived on the scene. One of them is bound to do the trick.

1. The Internet Diet. You lose weight because you're so addicted to being online, you don't eat for days at a time.
2. The Fantasy Diet. You eat a Collard Wrap while fantasizing you're really eating Death by Chocolate.
3. The Play With Your Food Diet. You're so busy making a castle out of your mashed potatoes, you forget to eat them.
4. The Food Chess Diet. You and a friend play chess using food tidbits as chess pieces. You are only allowed to eat when you capture your friend's players. You lose the game and you lose weight.
5. The Rolling Table Diet. You sit on a chair on wheels, trying to eat at a table on wheels. The motorized floor under your table is constantly shifting, so you don't get to eat much, and thus lose weight. (This is similar to The Seasick Diet, but takes place in your own land-lubbing home.)
6. The Fisherperson Diet. A fisherperson holds a pole whose end is attached to a morsel of food in your mouth. Every time you try to bite down on the food, the fisherperson pulls the food away.
7. The Puffed Food Diet. All your favorite foods are re-made in the style of puffed wheat or puffed rice. Your Cheese Ravioli is now mostly air, so you don't gain any weight.
8. The Mock Puffed Food Diet. In this diet, all the foods you like to eat are made of styrofoam, to resemble the Puffed Food Diet. Now you can't eat the food at all. (You try to, and spit it out.) You really lose weight.
9. The Edible Flowers Diet. You are only allowed to eat edible flowers. You get bored with them and eat nothing, thus lose weight.
10. The Love Diet. You munch playfully on your sweetheart's hand. You gain no calories; you lose weight. Your sweetheart loses interest in you because s/he preferred you with love handles.

Ok, maybe that was goofy more so than funny - but, I don't know about you but the Rolling Table Diet sounds like fun! And the Mock Puffed Food Diet does not sound fun at all.

This weekend we have absolutely nothing planned. Nothing worth noting here anyhow. Which means we should be able to find plenty of time to exercise, watch NASCAR and Hockey - Go Blackhawks!

What do you have planned this weekend?

Whatever you do this weekend enjoy it and stay healthy!

Responsibility 199... Gotta Do It!!

Day 20 - Lighten up

Nope, Lighten up does not refer to a thought on losing weight. Although that would've been a good title for a rant on 'lightening up'. Instead I myself need to lighten up if only for a day. My recent posts have been fairly serious in trying to undertand when to eat, exercise, take supplements and what if any, etc... and thanks to the many of you who have shared your thoughts in a serious and sincere manner.

But today it is a day to give the brain a rest from all those heavy thoughts and inject some laughter. So here I go...



A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Ever wonder about people who pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water?
A: Just spell "Evian" backwards!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?
Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!
Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you ask the question?
Johnny: It's because I saw one on daddy's lettuce, but now it's gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With more than twelve billion catalogs being mailed annually, it's little wonder that marketers are distributing mailing lists anywhere possible. In one particularly cruel move, the proprietors of a chocolate catalog purchased the mailing list of a weight-loss organization. Chocolate sales rose almost immediately, but the weight-loss group wised up and now keeps it clients' names to itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, that's enough from me. I take no credit for authoring any of them, thanks to ahajokes.com.

Got a funny? Share'em if you got'em.

Laugh out loud today!

Responsibility 199... Gotta Do It!!