DAY 366 - Moving Forward

THANK YOU to all who respond with such excitement and relief to my news Saturday of my latest victory over cancer. Your comments, tweets, emails, phone calls, and I believe someone actually made it through to me telepathically; it is 2011 after all. Again, for all of your support allow me again to say...

THANK YOU !!!

Three exclamation points, one for each time I've knocked the beast out of me. Please let that be the last.

Now, with all the cancer nervousness behind us minus the healing and some follow up appointments; it is time to move forward again with this life I have been given to live. And living I am, and living I vow to do as I've never done before.

My wife & I started doing just that Saturday evening....

On Valentines Day for some reason I didn't share her what I gave my wife. Amongst the flowers and dinner was the gift of an evening with Johnathan & Andy Hillstrand, Captain's of the Deadliest Catch's Time Bandit. That evening was this past Saturday evening at a community college about 90 minutes south of where we call home.

Cathy (my wife) is a reality show fanatic and Deadliest Catch is one of her faves. Some may recall last summer we met Josh Harris at a local restaurant. Captain Andy is her Captain and given the chance she'd punt me for him in less time than it takes to turn channel. Um, remember when we actually had to 'turn' the channel?

We had a great time listening to the entertain us from the college auditorium stage for 90 minutes and then afterwards sign autographs and take pictures. For the record Johnathan was bad boy who was well on his way to a good drunk from the moment he got on stage. Also for the record he was the crowd favorite as anytime a kid asked a question he got up, hopped off stage and met them in crowd. Andy was the good boy who played off his brothers antics very well. If anyone can remember Laurel & Hardy here, these two could be the modern day L&H. 

Like I said we had a great time, we always do together! The picture up top there is Cathy & I waiting for the show to get started. As you can see my neck is still quite swollen from the surgery. Hoping that abates shortly. Can't see it? Ok, here are some better shots of what will be my victory scars...

Before I close I must once again say....

(yeah, I am not an arts & crafts person; marker on a paper towel is akin to Picasso from me)

Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!

Day 364 - VICTORY

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We received a call last night about 9:45 p.m.

My wife was on the couch watching t.v. and I was on the third step headed upstairs to go to bed, wiped out. Blackhawks game or not it was time to turn in.

As she answered the phone she said I'd want to take this, the caller-id flashes on the t.v. screen so she knew who it was.

Three seconds later I had made it back down those three stairs, enough time for a conversation as she was already wrapping up the call.

By the time I walked the four steps across the family room floor to the couch the call was done and she hung up.

"All clear," she said.

"Excellent," I replied. "We'll celebrate tomorrow". And off to bed I went.

My nights sleep was the best one I have had in weeks. No doubt from knowing that I am once again CANCER FREE!

So today, tonight & for the rest of our lives my wife & I will celebrate being cancer free (again), being in love, being alive!

What are you celebrating today?

Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!

Day 362 - Hospital Fashion, Wings & Control

Thanks everyone for the posts, emails, etc of well wishes for yesterdays surgey. Very much appreciated!

Isn't hospital footwear the coolest stuff on earth? Yeah, that's a bit of an over-statement. Ok its an outright mis-statement. Even the hospital folks know just how lame they are as they allow you take them home when you leave. They don't let you take home the gown, or the robe, or the stylish mesh cap. Oh no, those they want back. The footwear, they go out of their way to make sure you understand you can keep them.

Everything went well yesterday. We arrived just before 9 a.m. and the parade of forms that needed my signature was soon underway. I must have signed my name 10 times between the time I arrived and actually going into the O.R. about 4 hours later.

I mentioned the gown and robe, it would be wrong of me not to model this cutting edge fashion (pun intended)...

Here I am dressed and ready to get going on the days festivities. No where is my bed on wheels!?

And I mentioned the mesh cap, I think it accents my blue eyes...

At this point I was on the basement where nuclear medicine is located. They had just finished injecting my foreheard with a foursome of needles filled with radioactive something-or-other. I hung out here about an hour and a half while they took a mess pictures tracking just were that stuff traveled to.

And here is where it traveled to...

Now that these doctors and radiologists (I think that is what they are called) did their job the surgeon will know where to target. She would make an incision in the center of that line of X's and then use a small a gieger counter of sorts to find the specific nodes which the stuff traveled to.

Now unfortunately I do not have any pictures of her doing her work, or of the plastic surgeon doing his work on my forehead. Would of loved to have pics or video of that. But since they insisted on knocking me out I was unable to take any.

About two hours after surgery I had awakened enough to leave the hospital and head home. My mother in law saw to it that we didn't have to worry about hunger and had Franks wings waiting for dinner!

Here is what I look like this morning...

She ended up taking out three lymph nodes. Those and the forehead tissue he removed are now enjoying the wonders that take place in pathology. Possibly by end of day tomorrow, but more likely Monday, is when we'll receive those results and know what, if anything, is next.

Until then I feel good, sure in pain but I have meds for that. I'll work from home today & tomorrow and take it easy as prescribed. I'll take some walks to keep the blood moving and head clear.

Ironically I just saw a t.v. commercial for a cancer treatment facility which relates treating cancer to a journey. Sure, call it a journey, call it a battle, call it anything you want.

Should you have to ever have the mis-fortune to have to take this journey take the lead role in your treatment. Question everything even if you appear to be a pest, learn more than you ever cared to know about it; only then can you feel confident and in control. You must be the one in control, not the cancer!

Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!

Day 361 - Surgery Day: NO Platypus Please

So today is the day, surgery day. Next to the last hurdle I need to bound in determining the gravity of this dance with the beast.

Several family members are convening at the hospital today to lend their support, or check out the doctors/nurses too perhaps. Below is an email I wrote to my sister earlier this week that does well to describe my day ahead; so well that I figured it will do well too as my blog post today...

<
Kim,


You asked for the details on Wednesdays festivities. They are as follows...


8:45 a.m. I need to check in at LFH, the entrance in front by the flag pole.

All who decide to come for the fun should enter here, ask the receptionist where to go for the outpatient surgery waiting room. They have free coffee and water there, only the best for all of you.

Somewhere between 8:45 & 10:00 a.m. I will disappear into the bowels of our health care system.

10:00 a.m. is when they will inject my forehead with radioactive super powers, not sure if I will get x-ray vision or the ability to take the form of a platypus; I'm hoping for the former.

12:45 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. is when surgery is reserved.

When they are done with both procedures I'll go to recovery and then somewhere where all in the peanut gallery can come and see how loopy I am. Shortly after that we can leave. They said the post surgery recovery can run between 1 & 2 hours depending on how I respond.

We will not get any results from pathology from my forehead tissue or lymph node for 2-3 days, so anti-climatically we'll leave still waiting and wondering the gravity of it all. Not that I will care as I will surely be starving by this time and any discussion of anything other than food will not be my preference. If someone would bring Franks wings to recovery for me I will be most indebted.
>

If not mistaken I believe that I failed to mention that results of my blood test from last week came back good, all numbers normal. That was a 'whew' moment. Hoping from another whew moment in a few days when the pathology reports come in from todays surgery.

I so do not want platypus powers; Fingers crossed!

Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!

Day 356 - Hurry Up & Wait

Happy Friday to one and all. Well not everyone. The person responsible for gas proces, no happy Friday wishes for you. Booo I say! Yep, that sign is legitamite. Here in Chicagoland the cheap stuff is above $4 a gallon in many places. Took that gas picture yesterday while driving to a doctors appointment.

The visit with the ortho re: my knee/hip led to a disgnosis of maybe this, or that, but whatever it is take these pills and go for physical therapy too. Let me tell you, if I wasn't preoccupied by the cancer stuff, I'd have left that appointment less than impressed. However, being the look at the positive chap I am, I took it as good news. If all I need to do is take a pill and work on my stretching with someone, fine by me!

The visit with the medical oncologist saw me give three vials of blood yesterday. Today we wait to hear the results of the gaggle of tests they are running on it. Hopefully today I'll get that news. Otherwise the doc & I had a long talk and he did well to paint out all of the likely outcomes considering the PET Scan with what we know now. So I feel well informed, not happy about some of what I'm am hearing, but I believe I'm doing this right at present and I know in the end victory will be mine.

Oh, yesterdays answers to the brain batters... you got them. Tish was first take a crack at them and nailed them...
Look before you leap
Grown up
Fast Food

Here's a different puzzle for your Friday fun...
You have a basket with five pears in it. Can you divide these pears amongst your five kids in order for each kids to get a pear and still have one pear left in your basket?


Mmmm, pears....

Enjoy!

 

 

Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!

Day 355 - Dr. Joke & Brain Games



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Docpalooza continues for me today...

This morning its a trip to see a bone doctor for just whats up with my left knee. MRI showed no concern there for cancer, but that doesn't mean the pain of the past two+ weeks has a known cause for hanging around; hopefully get that riddle resolved today.


Then this afternoon its a trip to the medical oncologist for the blood test & general consult on whats next based on its results and those from the PET Scan. I am armed with my list of questions and as much blood as they need. And jokes, I always crack a joke or two with doctors. Seems to loosen them up, slow them down and allow them to talk to me more so than talk at me.

I'm bringing my 'A' game, these docs better do the same!

Hmmm, A game... shall we play a game? How about some Brain Batters, why not...

1. What does this represent:
lookbebebebeuleap


2. What does this represent:
N
W
O
R
G
 

3. What does this represent:
200mph sausages, 100mph peanuts, 150mph bananas

Take a crack at those, enjoy the cartoon above and no matter how many doctors you see today, Have Fun!

Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!

Day 353 - Bring On The Needles!

Some good news on the cancer battlefield... The MRI on my knee showed NO metastatic cancer there; whew! Above is one of the 180+ images of my knee, I have no idea of know what I'm looking at there is good or not, and don't care as long as I'm told it is sans cancer.

We engage the enemy next on Thursday for a blood test to determine if there are any indicators that the melanoma has spread beyond skin or lymph nodes. Bring on the needles!

Exercise, lets talk exercise... I took two of the boys to the YMCA Sunday to get some sweat'n on...
Needed a warm up since I pulled them out of bed to join me, so we started with a mile on the elliptical:

I think they were hoping this was all we were going to do.

I dig the rowing station so it was our next stop:

Andrew working as fast as he can, like he has somewhere else to be.

Then it trying to get the boys more involved in the workout I let them pick what we did next...

Andrew picked incline sit ups:

Yep, there I am gett'n my 2d set in. I am enjoying myself; can't you tell?

Cameron then picked cross over flys:

Here he demonstrates, "Form" is his middle name.

Next I chose this 'thing' since it was available & I had never done it, need to try new stuff:

Andrew is seen here doing what I called Tri-Shoul-Back Press Downs, as it ravaged those three areas so.

Andrew took us next to the Overhead ISO Pull Down station:

and then he snapped this pic of me; this is a cool exercise.

Cameron got last choose and chose Squats, yes, Squats:

I was taught to squat early in a routine - Rebel!

That was enough, I was wiped, they were anything but wanting more. Not a routine you'd find a trainer advise perhaps, but on this day it was our routine.

Have you pulled the family out of bed lately to join you get some sweat'n on?

 

Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!

Day 349 - Brass Tacks & Eeyore



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 So the PET Scan results. I asked for a recount but the tech my medical oncologist's office was very clear that the electorate from Florida did not in any way vote on my scans results. Too bad, because I'd pay some nice long $$ for a recount.

Brass tacks; the scan showed activity up near my jaw which if there had to be activity this is where they would have expected it as that is the area where the lymph node my forehead drains into. So while that news was unwelcome, the scan cannot determine where just a single node is infected or more than one. And just how infected; just a tad of initial infiltration, or more than a tad (I think the medical term for more than a tad is TAD aka big-tad). That won't be known until my surgical oncologist gets in there and see what I have in there for her on April 13th.

Brass tacks pt.2, the scan also showed activity in my left knee. Now I wondered going into the scan if this might happen. Some of you who have been with me here for a while may recall I get gout flare ups 2-3x a year. For about 10-days now I have been fighting such a flare up. I chose not to mention in any recent blog posts as it was just another dose of sorry news and my posts have been gloomy enough.

My medical oncologist feels that this activity certainly could be gout related, but is not willing to rule it out on my word; smart! He has scheduled me for an MRI for this Saturday and also a blood test and consultation with him next Thursday.

The MRI will hopefully rule in/out whether it is gout, arthritis, a chicken wing bone, or melanoma that is causing the angst between my knee & I.

The blood test will be the usual battery I take annually as follow up from my 2001 colon cancer, and it will also include a LDH level test. This specific test is supposed is run for many reason but for patients with melanoma, it is used to determine if the cancer has metastasized (spread) to organs beyond the skin or lymph nodes. Sounds like a winner; I'll take one! I kind of thought that is what the PET Scan was supposed to do too, and I believe so and if so I should feel good that the scan only showed activity in the jaw area and knee. Right?

That is just one of the zillion new questions I have in mind. I look forward to seeing my medical oncologist earn his pay next Thursday when I hit run him through my gauntlet.

ENOUGH...
Enough cancer news for now. There will be plenty more to come in the comings weeks, I'd like to move on to something non-cancer related & more positive. However this post is long enough as it is and I do not write long posts for a reason. Therefore I will share that more positive hunk of my day yesterday for tomorrow's post.

Until then, remember...
When stuck in the river, it is best to dive and swim to the bank yourself before someone drops a large stone on your chest in an attempt to hoosh you there.

-Eeyore


Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!

Day 348 - From Cats To Waffles

The PET Scan itself was conducted well yesterday. I won't hear results until today at the earliest and more likely tomorrow. The waiting game continues on here.

Wednesday April 13th is my surgery date for the sentinel node removal/biopsy and as well removing more tissue on my forehead where the melanoma was removed nearly a month ago. So it'll be a couple of weeks yet before I know with a good degree of certainty whether I can breathe a sigh of relief of brace for a more involved battle.

But enough about the waiting for tomorrow or two weeks from now. Today is here, what is on tap today.

Waffles; my wife has caught a spring cold and wanted waffles for breakfast so I made her waffles. I also made waffles for the kids too. I chose to abstain from the waffle quorum call, instead went with a high-protein omelet.

College; as it is spring break we have time to work the tomorrow's of the kids. Two of my boys and I will head off to Northern Illinois University shortly for a college visit. One is a high-school sophomore and the other a junior. I don't think either really wants to spend their spring break time this way, but since the school is on both of their lists today is the day. Speaking of their lists, they include 69 and 9 colleges respectively. Our senior who selected her college a few months ago never had more that 6 or 7. When we ask our freshman (yes we have 4 in h.s., one in each grade) about his list, he jokingly says he is going to live at home and play xbox for a living. Thus his list is still a blank sheet of paper.

Cats; one of our cats is sick (yeah, our house is a sickly place at the moment). Nobody else is brave enough to give the cat is medicine so I have that chore twice a day now. It is just a cat; it's not like he has eyes that fire lazers! Even though it weighs a stout 14 pounds holding it down, wedging the medicine dropper between his teeth, squirting the medicine down his throat, and then holding his jaw shut for a few seconds to ensure swallowage (is that a word); it is not that hard. Meow!

Ok, off now to get in some exercise before getting gathered and setting out to NIU.

Final thought: Impossible and possible, the difference is measured in determination.

How determined are you today?

 

Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!

Day 342 - Good News & More Waiting

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THANK YOU for the continued well wishes via comments, tweets, emails, facebook, etc... very very much appreciated!

Yesterday's appointment with the surgical oncologist was positive. The doctor gained my confidence which was on my checklist. Being a doctor in a specialty where the majority of your patients are there to seek hope for grim situations cannot be easy labor.

The good news, she did a full physical in search for other candidates of melanoma on my skin, head to toe; found nothing warranting concern. So big sighs of relief were in order with that news.

The waiting game continues however while I wait for some procedures to be scheduled. Next up is a PET Scan, the picture up there is of a random image I found. So what is a PET Scan, I did not know before this discussion. Long story short this procedure will help illuminate anywhere in my body where cancerous cells may exist. I should hear today from my medical oncologist, different person than my surgical oncologist, when that scan can be performed.

Then within a few days or so after the PET Scan is complete & results read I'll go in for the sentinel lymph node biopsy. Long story short this procedure will result in a very specific lymph node being identified and then removed for analysis to determine if the melanoma that was removed from my forehead had a chance to spread via the lymphatic system. If it has, it will show up in this specific node. Obviously were are hoping this node is clean which would mean the cancer has not spread that way.

At the same time the oncologist surgeon is hunting down that lymph node (can take 2-3 hours) the plastic surgeon will go back to work on my forehead and remove more tissue around the original scar as a precaution to ensure any rouge cells from the melanoma site had not deposited in that area; another ugly characteristic of melanoma. Hence when you see pictures of very advances melanoma tumor sites they are spread out in irregular patters, they spawn rouge cells that move out a few millimetres to a centimeter from the original and get nasty there.

For all of this I will be knocked out, which was a bummer; I asked if I could be awake for it all as I am a science geek; they said nope, this is not something you want to be awake for. I think the real answer is that THEY don't want me awake through it asking questions.

There are two ways melanoma spreads (metastasizes), the via the lymphatic system or via the blood stream. Hence why the PET Scan, that procedure is primarily being used to see if this has spread via the blood stream.Obviously were are hoping this scan looks as clean a fresh sheet of canvas.

So thats the nut-shell version of where I am at. In an hour I will call the scheduling desk at the hospital and schedule the PET Scan, and we'll go from there.

Please tell me you have more exciting happenings go on in your lives today!

Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!

Day 341 - Thursday 'What & When'

Thanks for all of your comments, emails, etc. with well wishes & prayers. Very much appreciated!
It is Thursday, finally. My appointment is at 3pm this afternoon, a bit less than 5 hours away. This appointment is just the consultation with the surgical oncologist, so I won't learn anything today about whether the melanoma has spread or whether the plastic surgeon got it all a couple of weeks ago. But I will learn the 'what & when' re: the next procedure so today I will know how much longer I need to be in the dark regarding what the reality is here.

I'll share what I learn today with my next post.

Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!

Day 336-338: Beast Is Back, Rd. 3

Back on March 1st I shared that I needed to have spots on my forehead and right eyebrow removed. Inspired by my brush with melanoma in situ (very very early start of melanoma) on my right face cheek last September I decided to exercise some precaution and have this forehead spot looked at & removed this month. You can see the spot in the picture above taken last fall; there I was modeling the yoga towel I won from Jody and as well you can see the bandage on my cheek from having that spot removed.

On March 3rd I had the forehead and right eyebrow procedure done; I also had the surgeon fix part of the scar on my cheek that didn't heal well due to an uncooperative hair follicle. Don't I look like a mess...

When they removed the spots they send them off for biopsy to rule in or out whether any cancer cells are present; standard procedure. At the end of last week I received those results...

All is good on the right eyebrow, just sun damage that caused that spot.

All is not good on the forehead spot, positive for melanoma.

Since then I have not been myself. To be honest I've been a mixed bag of pissed off, despondent and absent minded. I've always had this natural-ability to shelve or back-burner my own problems when it comes time to attend to lifes 'normal' activities. Thus when it was time this weekend to go to the gym with my wife, or take the boys to a movie, or go out to dinner with my in laws; I just parked the fog that is my mind and participated as if nothing was wrong, nothing to be concerned about was present.

I've also always had this natural-ability to be brutally-real with myself when I understand or recognize the gravity of what is before me. And I am so very anxious to exercise that ability. But the problem is I don't know the gravity as I sit here & type this a.m.... and I wont know for a couple of weeks yet.

This Thursday I go for a consultation with a surgical oncologist for a procedure that will determine (I hope) whether the melanoma has had sufficient time to settle into one or more lymph nodes or beyond. Thursday is a long way away.

Until I know the true gravity I will do my best to back-burner the anxiety & emotional baggage I've found myself uncharacteristically picking up. Until I know I'll do my best to focus on being healthy, on being there for all who depend on me, on bringing fun to each day. Until I know...


Responsibility 199 - Gotta Do It!!